Even the most responsible parents are not free from mistakes that hinder their child's happiness and education, as well as those that affect family harmony and make mistakes in education and upbringing. Especially now, when children are receiving distance learning due to quarantine. Nikolay Yagodkin, founder of the Center for Advance Educational Technologies and author of the book "Child Motivation Technology," advises parents to work on the following 5 mistakes.

Discuss the future with children under 12 years old

    You can't tell a child that to be a respected person, to receive a decent salary, to become a CEO, it is necessary to study well. He is only 10 years old, and he is not even capable of imagining his life 10-20 years from now. Children make much simpler plans than adults. Adults can even imagine what their position and salary will be in 5 years.

      And the child is like a new world. He strives only for what interests him. After 12 years, if the child's goals and interests are taken into account, the above idea will certainly work. If a child dreams of becoming a veterinarian, a reasonable suggestion should also come from the parents: "Do you want to be a good veterinarian and take care of animals? Animals do not have the same language as humans, but to be able to treat them, it is necessary to have a lot of knowledge about medicines. For this, you need to study natural sciences well." This gives the child strength and energy.

Engaging in negative motivation.

This includes:

Fear. A child is afraid not of getting a bad grade, but of being scolded by their parents because of it.

Punishment. The child is afraid of being punished by his parents.

The child must study well, he is the only hope of adults. There are so many worries awaiting him in the future, so he must study well.

Shameful. The child is worried about being embarrassed by parents in front of neighbors, friends, or colleagues for not being talented.

Feedback. It has become common for parents to unknowingly call their children stupid and incompetent. Unfortunately, such an assessment of them is a negative motivation and convinces the child that such characteristics exist. In the long run, they can easily turn into stress.

    After this, it becomes difficult for the child to concentrate, activity slows down, and their relationship with parents changes. To the attention of those who want to raise a child with fear, in the future your child will not be able to protect even their own interests. They will earn less in the future than others. They distance themselves from the world and live by public opinion. In order not to seek a psychologist for a child in 10 years, it is necessary to stop the psychological violence being used against them now.

Encourage learning.

    Many parents don't praise for good grades because a child needs to study well anyway. But they reprimand me for bad grades. Parents can study with their child as much as they can. But as the tasks become more difficult, he now drags me towards the tutor. The child comes home tired from school and is forced to study again. Two thoughts arise in his mind:

• Never learn anything;
• Inability to solve problems by oneself.
• Considering a child as a debtor.

    A child has their own desires, thoughts, and the right to choose. Those who want to raise a harmoniously developed, spiritually healthy personality must certainly reckon with this. When a child receives praise even for small achievements, they find the strength to learn. And this, first of all, parents need to learn, you don't have to do something grandiose to praise. Thus, by praising any achievement, a child strives for greatness. It is possible to communicate with a child as an adult and conclude contracts. This teaches them how to be partners, fulfill promises, and be responsible.

Demanding from a child what you don't have

    A child's upbringing is required not in words, but in deeds. If you require a child to read a lot while playing with a smartphone yourself, don't bother waiting for big changes. Because the child copies from adults. A child has cognitive disagreement because they are demanded of them and do not follow it themselves. Of course, they can justify such behavior with their size. Therefore, if you want your child to set goals, keep their word, and not hurt the weak, try to be an example yourself.

    People are not perfect, including parents. We need to work on the mistakes as quickly as possible. Because every parent loves their child and wants them to be happy.